In my time
I have been called many things: sister, lover, priestess, wise-woman,
queen. Now
in truth I have come to be wise-woman, and a time may come when these things
may need to be known. But in sober truth, I think it is the Christians
who will tellthe last tale. For ever the world of fairy drifts further
from the world in which the Christ holds sway. I have no quarrel
with the Christ, only with his priests, who call the Great Goddess a demon
and deny that she ever held power in this world. At best, they say
that her power was of Satan. Or else they cloth her in the blue robe
of the Lady of Nazareth--who indeed had power in her way, too--and say
that she was ever virgin. But what can a virgin know of the sorrows
and travail of mankind?
And now,
when the world has changed, and Arthur--my brother, my lover, kingwho was
and king who shall be--lies dead (the common folk say sleeping) in the
Holy Isle of Avalon, the tale should be told as it was before the priests
of the White Christ came to cover it all with their saints and legends.
For, as
I say, the world itself has changed. There was a time when a traveler,
if he had the will and knew only a few of the secrete, could send his barge
out into the Summer Sea and arrive not at Glastonbury of the monks, but
at the Holy Isle of Avalon; for at that time the gates between the worlds
drifted within the mists, and were open, one to another, as the traveler
thought and willed. For this is the great secrete, which was know
to all educated men in our day: that by what men think, we create the world
around us, daily new.
And now
the priests, thinking that this infringes upon the power of their God,
who created the world once and for all to be unchanging, have closed those
doors (which were never doors, except in the minds of men), and the pathway
leads only to the priests’ Isle, which they have safeguarded with the sound
of their churchbells, driving away all thoughts of another world lying
in the darkness. Indeed, they say that world, if it indeed exists,
is the property of Satan, and the doorway to hell, if not Hell itself.
I do not know what their God may or may not have created. In spite
of the tales that are told, I never knew much about their priests and never
wore the black of one of their slave-nuns. If those at Arthur’s court
at Camelot chose to think me so when I came there (since I always wore
the dark robes of the great Mother in her guise as wise-woman), I did not
undeceive them. And indeed, toward the end of Arthur’s reign it would
have been dangerous to do so, and I bowed my head to expediency as my great
mistress would never have done: Viviane, Lady of the Lake, once Arthur’s
greatest friend, save for myself, and then his darkest enemy--again, save
for myself.
But the
strife is over; I could greet Arthur at last, when he lay dying, not as
my
enemy and the
enemy of my Goddess, but only as my brother, and as a dying man in need
of the Mother’s aid, where all men come at last. Even the priests
know this, with their ever-virgin Mary in her blue robe; for she too become
the World Mother in the hour of death.
And so Arthur
lay at last with his head in my lap, seeing in me neither sister nor
lover nor foe,
but only wise-woman, priestess, Lady of the Lake; and so rested upon the
breast of the Great Mother from whom he came to birth and to whom at last,
as all men, he must go. And perhaps, as I guided the barge which
bore him away, not this time to the Isle of the Priests, but to the true
Holy Isle in the dark world behind our own, that Island of Avalon where,
now, few but I could go, he repented the enmity that had come between us.
As I tell
this tale I will speak at times of things which befell when I was too young
to understand
them, or of things which befell when I was not by; and my hearer will draw
away, perhaps, and say: This is her magic. But I have always held
the gift of the Sight, and of looking within the minds of men and women;
and in all this time I have been close to all of them. And so, at
times, all that they thought was known to me in one way or another.
And so I will tell this tale.
For one
day the priest too will tell it, as it was known to them. Perhaps
between
the two, some
glimmering of the truth may be seen. For this is the thing the priests
do not know, with their One God and One Truth; that there is no such thing
as a true tale. Truth has many faces and the truth is like to the
old road to Avalon; it depends on your will, and you own thoughts, wither
the road will take you, and whether, at the end, you arrive in the holy
Isle of Eternity or among the
priests with their
bells and their death and their Satan and Hell and damnation . . . but
perhaps I am unjust even to them. Even the Lady of the Lake, who
hated a priest’s robe as she would have hated a poisonous viper, and with
good cause too, chide me once for speaking evil of their God.
“For all
Gods are one God,” she said to me then, as she had said many times
before, and as
I have said to my own novices many times, and as every priestess who comes
after me will say again, “and all the Goddesses are one Goddess, and there
is only one Initiator. And to every man his own truth, and the God
within.”
And so perhaps,
the truth winds somewhere between the road to Glastonbury, Isle of the
Priests, and the road to Avalon, lost forever in the mists of the Summer
Sea.
But this
is my truth; I who am Morgaine tell you these things, Morgaine who was
in later days
called Morgan le Fay.
Bradley, Marion Zimmer. The Mists of Avalon. Alfred A. Knopf, 1982.